I want to know the ghosts of your past that keep you awake at night when you should be holding me.
I can’t sleep without you.
There was something so magical about how even if you didn’t understand what I was talking about, you would take it all in and come back later with new thoughts. You are the only one to do that. I think I loved you because you made me feel understood. You are my addiction and I don’t think I’ll ever be free.
There is only one picture of you and I on this planet. It is one of my all time favorite photographs. We are so happy.
I look at it and the memory overwhelms to the point of tears. It is joy encapsulated in a snapshot. I loved you. Not in the way you wanted, not in the way you needed. I loved you all the same. Still do.
I look at that photo and I tell myself we are better off without each other but I wouldn’t change a moment of our time together for anything in this world.
I’m so tired of being both perceived as a threat and not a threat at the same time.
Can you love me deeply?
Love me so boldly that anyone can see that we are fireworks exploding in the night sky? I am not made for watercolor romance, pale and delicate. I am made for more. Are you my more?
You are the moon and I am the ocean. We are a sky apart and I still feel your pull on me. You’re shining so far away and I’m crashing onto the rocks.
I love you and it makes this so much harder. You have put not only your heart but your life into my hands and I am being crushed by the weight of being your world. I just can’t do this anymore.
All I can tell you is half a cigarette in, I’m regretting having the taste of you on my mouth.
Stop trying to fix me.
I am not broken and I am not yours to “make better”.
Take me as I am or lose me altogether.